Not having a parent when growing up sucks and not having one because that person chose not to be a parent sucks even worse.

Psych is without a doubt my favorite TV show. Watching it brings happiness, joy, sadness, laughter and more… which I can watch over and over and over and over… you get the point.

Recently I was watching Game, Set… Muuurder? (S1E13) and in one scene Shawn consults with his father on a case. For some reason, this scene made me reflect on my relationship with my father, which is basically non-existent.

The first memories I have of my father were when I was about 10 years old. There I was, sitting in the back of an SUV with my mother in the drivers seat and grandmother (father’s side) in the passenger’s seat. My brother and I were sitting in the back while we parked in front of a house to drop off my grandmother, and unexpectedly my mother and grandmother leaned back to inform us that my father was inside.

Up until this time, my father had disappeared. While I have heard many reasons over the years for his disappearance, these were simply excuses. Little did I know that this was only the beginning of a terrible “relationship” with the person I now call by first name: Lance Sr.

Before this moment, my mother never spoke ill of my father, but did make it clear that he just vanished one day (sort of a warning, I guess). Had I listened to my mom before and/or know what I know now, I would have avoided having a relationship with him from that very moment. He has been nothing but a negative experience in my life, often stealing things from my brother and me, constantly disappearing on weekends where we are supposed to spent time together and even stealing and selling my very first car (1976 Chevy Nova) that was sold to me by my brother. ?

Being fatherless sucked, but having one treat you as if you are worthless sucked even worse.

Thankfully it’s not all doom-and-gloom, because I did have an amazing and honest grandfather (mother’s side) taught me more that I could have ever asked. ?