Relationships & Time Thoughts on Sustainability

<span class="entry-title-primary">Relationships & Time</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Thoughts on Sustainability</span>

Relationships (all types) are twofold, give and take. If you give nothing, then (by definition) you are merely taking, which is unsustainable.

Lately I have questioned many of my relationships, whether or not they are sustainable (in their current form), and most are not.

So this raises two questions:

  • What is this type of relationship?
  • How much time should one commit to this relationship?

Often times the first question goes unanswered, but sometime ago I discovered Dunbar’s Number.

Dunbar’s number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships.

This methodology is actually quite clear, explaining that a person can sustain roughly 150 relationships, with 5-10 being the closest (meaningful), inner circle.

The second question, however, is quite easy to answer. Because, every moment you spend on a directionless relationship, is time you could have spent on a meaningful relationship.

I prefer to spend my time wisely, because it is the one thing that does not return. So I asked myself this question:

  • With whom am I dedicating most of my time: my inner or outer circle?

There is no doubt that the answer to that question should be the former. After all, if roughly 93% of your relationships are not deep, then those should only get 7% of your time.

The other 93% of your time should go to the 7% of relationships within your inner circle.